Entertaining Expert Suzanne Pollak on Living More Beautifully at Home

Suzanne Pollak is preparing a frisée salad for our lunch. She adds bacon (“You do eat pork?” she considerately asks), grinds some of her new-favorite pepper mélange, and tops the bowl with the largest, toastiest, most geometrically precise cubes of croutons I’ve ever seen.

Suzanne and I are standing around the marble-topped island in the kitchen of her friend’s 1740-era, three-story house on stately Tradd Street in Charleston, SC, America’s perennially favorite travel destination and bastion of Southern tradition and gentility. She’s house sitting here for an extended stay.

A lush, red paisley scarf cascades down Suzanne’s slender shoulders, punctuating her chic white tee with vivid color. I feel a heightened sense of occasion, as if I’m not only her honored guest about to share a meal, but also the beneficiary of a custom-designed culinary lesson.

For Suzanne Pollak – entertaining expert, social strategist (aka etiquette and events manager), author, lecturer, international traveler, media spokesperson, designer, mother of four, and grandmother of seven – is, after all, co-founder and dean of Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits. An admiring student bestowed on her the title of dean.

Suzanne’s mission with the academy is to create more beautiful and meaningful connections to how and where we live. She offers private, hands-on classes and consultations and delivers public presentations and speeches on cooking, homemaking, and etiquette. She imparts topical wisdom and insights gleaned from her own well-lived and uncommon life.

Born in Beirut, Lebanon, into a diplomatic family (dad was with the CIA) Suzanne Pollak experienced a nomadic upbringing in Africa, attending 12 schools in as many years in multiple countries. Her parents regularly hosted parties, both material to his job and to provide a social network for global guests and local residents. She hung out in the kitchen to watch the preparations. Then she observed the parties, absorbing the intricacies and rituals associated with clothing, cocktails, and conversation.

She ran a bakery, taught spouse programs at a convention hotel, and served as a spokesperson for Federated Department Stores. She co-authored Entertaining for Dummies and The Pat Conroy Cookbook.

Her personal style and design prowess attracted The Wall Street Journal, which showcased her historic restoration of her family’s 1780 townhouse along Charleston’s fabled Rainbow Row. Town & Country magazine featured her restoration of their 1780 Georgian tabby mansion and garden in Beaufort, SC.

The Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits: A Handbook of Etiquette with Recipes, which Suzanne Pollak co-authored, spreads her gospel of graciousness. Far from being a stuffy tome, this primer is pure enjoyment. I devoured the book prior to our meeting today. The writing breezes with cheerleader-like encouragement, personal anecdotes, and sharp, often self-deprecating, wit. Illustrations are fine-lined and playful.

In a nutshell, the academy espouses:

• Home – A well-run house is the bedrock to a successful life for each inhabitant.
• Heart – Using your kitchen to create home-cooked meals will result in a healthier and happier life.
• Hospitality – Entertaining at home improves your life in ways that you cannot even imagine.

“Maximize every square inch of your home,” Suzanne instructs me as she tosses the greens.

One-on-one with Suzanne Pollak

Salads ready, we sit at the dining room table, which she’s personalized with several gleaming. silver serving pieces from her own collection. With her flair for storytelling, Suzanne Pollak ushers me into her domain of cooking, hospitality, and décor.

The Roads Traveled:  How did Charleston gain such a strong reputation for entertaining?
Suzanne Pollak:  Being a port city in the 1800s, ships would bring the latest fashions, trends, culture, manners, and architecture from Europe. My perception is weather has a lot to do with manners. In warmer places, people are friendly and sit on front porches. In the North, people are inside and not connecting as much.

TRT: What’s your take on the importance of everyday living?
SP:  So many people wait for something to happen. They don’t realize things are happening, and that they should be doing things to make them happen and make their own luck.

At Federated, I did 25 bridal shows a year. I realized so many of the moms never had a party or a dinner at their house. They’d been waiting 20 years, and now they had to have a rehearsal dinner for their sons and wanted to do it at home, and didn’t have a clue how. Even if they were hosting at a club, they hadn’t developed an entertaining style or didn’t know what questions to ask. They had all those years of opportunity to teach their children how to set a table, entertain, introduce themselves to somebody, how to cook for guests, how to pass food and clear, and they never did.

Your home is right in front of you. Use it.

TRT:  How did living your formative years in Africa influence you?
SP:  I absorbed so much from my environment. For instance, my childhood boyfriend was the son of the first president of Somalia. I was told his father supposedly paid 200 camels for his mother as a dowry. So, I always thought a man paid for his wife. I used to wonder if I were worth 200 camels, which was a billionaire price in those days. It didn’t occur to me until much later that the Western world isn’t like that, that women aren’t worth a price. Even so, it’s still kind of in my psyche.

In Africa, women were perceived as powerless, baby makers, selling vegetables on the side of the road. It wasn’t until my 30s that I realized, wow, what women can do.

TRT: What makes you good at what you do?
SP:  I’m a fantastic connector, have good emotional and social IQ and intuition, and am positive, energetic, and really nice. The number one word I use is a survivor – I’ve had a son with cancer, two sons in a war, was in the Biafran war growing up, and divorced.

TRT: Why invite people to your home instead of meeting at a restaurant or bar?
SP:  In Charleston, people love to come to private homes. It’s a different relationship immediately at your home. You expect conversation, and it’s a faster, deeper connection. You think about the other person. They’re flattered.

There are so many ways to entertain, and they don’t depend on a budget. When you do have a limited budget, invite people for breakfast. There’s a beginning and an end time, and no alcohol. Serve pancakes or eggs, and coffee or tea. Or invite them for cocktails.

TRT: What’s your favorite dish to make for guests?
SP:  For six or more, one-pot meals such as gumbo, pot roast, and tagines. For three people, last-minute sautéed steaks or pork chops. And always a huge salad and at least one dessert.

TRT:  What’s the best party you ever hosted?
SP:  I’ve given hundreds of dinner parties, and loved every single one. I adored organizing my six annual Halloween parties before Halloween became such a ‘thing.’ The first year, 100 people came. Year six, 300 came from all over the country.

TRT: What are the academy’s most popular classes?
SP:  Dinner parties, cocktail parties, etiquette, and breakfast in bed.

TRT:  What have you learned from travel that you apply to your business and life?
SP:  Traveling makes people see things from another person’s point of view. They become more empathetic, good listeners and observers, and learn that the world doesn’t revolve around them or people like them.

When you live in a place is when you learn a place. I think the world would be better if people traveled more and really connected with people.

Even in your own city, invite people outside of your little group into your home. Take chances and invite people you don’t know well and want to know better. Mix all levels of society and races. When you’re sharing a meal around your table, you’re knitting together a community. Your house can be a tool to help our broken society. You can change the world one dinner party at a time.

TRT:  You’ve traveled extensively. How do you make a place your home on the road?
SP:  A lot has to do with attitude. Usually, if I’m in a hotel, I don’t bring anything because I love hotels. Ideally, I’d live in four hotels a year, like Eloise at The Plaza in New York City. When I stay at peoples’ houses, I feel at home because the host usually makes you feel at home. If you’re a well-behaved guest, you feel at home and don’t intrude.

TRT:  What key furnishings should you have to turn a house into a home? 
SP:  Anything that makes you feel comfortable or makes you happy. A large, cushy couch, a collection of porcelain displayed on your walls, any collection anywhere, a piano if you play music.

TRT:  What’s your next project?
SP: I’m writing a book on successful men and their mothers. It’s my new passion. Among those I’ve interviewed are NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Senator John McCain, tennis player John McEnroe, and musician Darryl Hall.

TRT:  What’s the future of entertaining?
SP:  Domestic skills are so important for a whole family, or two people, or yourself to run smoothly. You need the foundation of a home, and also the structure of schedule and organization.

I think my millennial students at the Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits are interested in that. They want to know how to set a table, and not have people wonder, “Where were you brought up?”. They want to learn their own style. My daughter likes paper plates and doesn’t care about china. I love china and used to have 300 sets. I know it’s a reaction to me, and that’s OK.

Remember to always use your own style. Don’t borrow someone else’s. First, make yourself comfortable and happy, then your guests will be, too. Use your house as a tool to make life-long connections.

The party’s over

Suzanne Pollak and I conclude our lunch, which finishes on a sweet note with salted butter and chocolate chunk shortbread. She walks me to the front door. I turn around outside for a final farewell. For the first time, I notice the brass plaque of a pineapple – Charleston’s ubiquitous symbol of warmth, welcome, friendship, and hospitality – attached to the door.

A fitting image, that spiky, crowned fruit is, for my well-lived afternoon.

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Recipe for Suzanne Pollak’s Frisée Salad (Serves 2 generously; reprinted with permission.)  

Salad

• 1 head frisée leaves separated and cut into thirds if long
• 1 cucumber, peeled and thickly sliced
• 1 roma tomato, cut into eights
• 3 pieces excellent quality bacon, cooked and cut into pieces
• 1 slice excellent quality blue cheese, in pieces
• 1 avocado, thickly sliced
• 2 slices of bread turned into croutons

Toss all ingredients in a salad bowl. Pour a tablespoon or more of olive oil, freshly cracked black pepper, and a little sprinkling of salt. Squeeze juice of 1/2 lemon and toss again.

Academy Croutons (These are the keystone of the academy.)

• 1 loaf country-style bread, preferably sourdough
• Olive oil

Using a bread knife, cut loaf into 1-inch thick slices – 1 slice per person. Cut slices into 1-inch cubes. Heat olive oil in saucepan over medium heat. Oil should come ¼ inch up the sides of the cubes. Sauté each side until golden brown, turning with a fork. The outsides are crispy, and the insides are still chewy.

Serve immediately. A cold crouton is a useless crouton.

Some photos courtesy of Suzanne Pollak.